the pain that lives in the body, insecurities that speak.

Pain is a voice, a manifestation of something deeper, a reflection of the unfulfilled aspects of our lives.

It often surfaces as insecurities, driving us to seek externally what we haven’t cultivated within ourselves.

Through my own observations, it has become clear that many people struggle with self-sufficiency, and this lack lies at the root of numerous personal and societal catastrophes — divorces, betrayals, existential crises, and even moral failings like corruption.

When we fail to cultivate a sense of inner completeness, we unconsciously create a void, expecting others to fill it. But here’s the hard truth..

no one else can fill that void.

The pain that arises from this void is subtle but persistent. It seeps into relationships, careers, and every aspect of life, quietly undermining our sense of well-being.

At the core of it all is an unmet need within ourselves — whether it’s emotional, intellectual, or spiritual. And too often, we look outside ourselves for the answer.

We seek validation from a partner, a sense of purpose from a job, or affirmation from social circles. But the real tragedy is that we are asking others to give us something that is not theirs to give. We are asking for completion, yet completion is a self-driven journey.

In relationships, this lack of self-sufficiency manifests as seeking from others what we have failed to provide for ourselves.

The need for validation, emotional support, or constant reassurance stems from a place of inner deficiency.

Many of us enter into relationships not to share our wholeness but to fill a gap within us.

This is the paradox — we expect others to complete us when, in truth, only we can make ourselves whole.

We lean on partners, friends, or family, hoping they will heal the insecurities we carry, but they can’t.

It is our responsibility to do that work, to dig deep into our unmet needs, and nurture them with the same care we hope to receive from others.

Insecurity often leads us into cycles of unfulfilling relationships, and we mistake that for fate or bad luck.

But more often than not, these failed connections are rooted in our own expectations, our insistence that someone else should shoulder the weight of our unmet needs.

We seek from others the security that should come from within.

And when they fail to provide it — because they inevitably will — we feel betrayed, lost, or abandoned.

But the real betrayal is our own..

the abandonment of our responsibility to ourselves.

It’s easy to get caught in the chase for wants — immediate desires that mask deeper needs.

We pursue success, relationships, recognition, all without truly addressing what we need.

This chase leads us further away from our authentic selves and deeper into insecurity.

We want love, but what we need is self-respect.

We want success, but what we need is a purpose.

We want attention, but what we need is understanding.

The pain of living in the body arises when we continually chase the wrong thing — when we seek external solutions to internal problems.

Self-sufficiency isn’t about rejecting the support of others..

it’s about being able to stand on your own emotionally and psychologically, regardless of what others provide.

It’s about meeting your own needs first, so that when you engage with the world — when you enter relationships, build careers, make decisions — you do so from a place of strength, not from lack.

Too many relationships crumble because one or both partners are searching for something in the other that they haven’t found in themselves. But you cannot give to others what you do not possess, and you cannot expect others to provide what they do not have.

Pain is the body’s way of telling us something is missing. When we feel insecure, unfulfilled, or perpetually restless, it is a sign that we have neglected the fundamental responsibility of self-nurturing. The unmet needs within us, if ignored, will drive us to behaviors and decisions that not only harm ourselves but may unintentionally harm others.

The deeper our insecurity, the more desperate we become for external validation, and the more likely we are to hurt those who try to love us, expecting them to fix what we have failed to address.

The key to breaking this cycle lies in understanding that no one else is responsible for your completeness.

Not your partner,

not your parents,

not society.

The idea that someone else will always be there to support you, to carry your burdens, or to validate your existence is a dangerous illusion. Self-sufficiency is not optional — it is essential.

It is the foundation upon which healthy relationships, meaningful careers, and a fulfilling life are built. Without it, we become dependent on others in unhealthy ways, drawing from them what we should be able to provide for ourselves.

This doesn’t mean rejecting support or love — it means entering into those spaces from a position of strength rather than need. It means recognizing that while relationships can enhance our lives, they are not a substitute for self-understanding and self-care.

To be sufficient in ourselves at any cost is the path to true freedom. It allows us to engage with the world without being held hostage by our insecurities or dependent on others for validation.

The pain we carry is a reflection of the work we have yet to do.

It speaks to the parts of us that remain undeveloped, the needs that remain unmet.

If we listen to it, if we confront it head-on, it can guide us toward a deeper understanding of ourselves.

But if we ignore it, it will continue to manifest as insecurity, as doubt, as unfulfillment.

So, stop chasing what you want and start focusing on what you truly need. Not just in terms of material success or external validation, but in terms of emotional and psychological self-sufficiency.

Be enough for yourself, and you will no longer look to others to fill that role. Only then will you be free — free to give and receive love, to build meaningful connections, and to live a life unshackled by insecurity.